Something

You know... This is an unusuall feeling that's inside of me. I think about I'm alone or I'm lonely. And what I'm deciding? I'm lonely and alone. Yes, of course, I've some friends. But it isn't this what I want. I want to have friend, it mays be only one, but I want to have a friend forever, not for the moment. It's very difficult for me. No, I'm not sad, unhappy. No. I'm disgusted in some way, maybe. I come back to my normal life. My normal life, it's this kind of life, in wich I do nothing, I am, and only I am, nothing more, any idea, any invention. Only existence. There was a few moments, when something was happening, but now, now... Nothing is happaning. My smile is unreal. My laugh is stilled. Sometimes is one moment, when I'm sincere and jolly, but not often. I still dream, that someone will be my friend not for the moment, that I will love someone and this man will love me, because I so need it, but I don't trust in the world, in the fate, in the people. Maybe, someone ever will do that I belive in...

This hasn't any sense...

Don't you understand? Well... You've a problem.